The Christ of Calvary

"He who knows not the Christ of Calvary knows not God, and he who does not thus know, knows not anything that is worth knowing." --R.E. March

It's Ash Wednesday today; the first day of Lent. (If you don't really understand what Lent is, you can read some background here.) Every year during Lent, I try to spend time reflecting on the suffering of Jesus. One book I have found particularly helpful is Contemplating the Cross by Tricia McCary Rhodes. For 40 days of readings, you walk with Jesus through his journey to the cross and think about his experience. More than anything else, this book has helped me understand and draw nearer to the one who was both God and man.

Today I'm thinking about the quote from Day 1 of the readings, which I have written above. What really struck me this time is the first part: "He who knows not the Christ of Calvary knows not God".

Who is the Christ of Calvary? In the last days before Jesus' death, we see glimpses of him that we have never seen before...weeping, afraid, lonely... but buoyed up by some inner strength through which he remains silent when mocked and tortured... and finally, asks God to forgive his murderers right before he dies. To be honest, these are not scenes I like to play in my head. It makes me nervous, uneasy, to think of Jesus crying and afraid. I'm scared to look into the depths of the evil he had to face or feel the strength of the taunts which he bore humbly. And most of all, I dare not face my own vile sin which lurks there, mixed in the cup of bitterness which he had to drink.

But in facing these images, in replaying them in my head, and in worshiping the One who was greater than the evil he faced, I find that I begin to understand who God really is. God is not an impersonal Judge taking down notes of my every action, or even a Amazon shipping agent, fulfilling my orders as I send them in. He's not even just a sweet old Father who is always ready to give me a hug and kiss my bruised knee. God experienced pain, loneliness and fear, just as we do. Instead of remaining aloof from our sin and darkness, Jesus took it and wrapped it round himself like a cloak. Man of sorrows and despised by many... yet taking the sin of the world upon his shoulders. This is the real God... and I long to know him.