Merry Christmas! - Great Joy to All People

Merry Christmas!

It's been good to have a few days off this week. Our music studio is closed on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and I took some extra days off at church, so I haven't been spending much time with anyone except family.

In fact, I think the only non-family interactions I had with in the last 2 days were service-people from the various stores I visited to shop for last-minute gifts. I always have to think at the end, whether I should say, "Have a good day!" or "Merry Christmas!" I mean, so many people are afraid of not being politically correct (myself included, unfortunately) that I always assume that others will avoid the "C"- word.

Actually, this year, I was pleasantly surprised. Seems like every cashier or worker wished me a Merry Christmas before I even said anything. It heartened me to continue on wishing people Merry Christmas whether they celebrate it or not, because, Christmas IS a big deal, to all, whether they believe that or not.

The angel of the Lord told the shepherds,

"I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. The Savior—yes, the Messiah, 

the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David!"

Luke 2:10-11

Great joy to all people is hard to believe because there are so many people who don't find joy in even the concept of a Christmas which centers on Santa Claus and gift-giving, let alone a Christmas whose real meaning is God coming to earth to save mankind. It's hard to believe even for Christians... our hearts are so jaded and filled with trash during this season: greed for more stuff, materialism, addictions or over-indulgences, frustrations in our family relationships, self-loathing or desire to impress others... 

I've been forgetting to keep Jesus the Savior as my central focus and thus struggling with some of these this week. When that happens, I even lose enjoyment in the good things (like time spent with loved ones, beautiful lights on my tree, and homemade raspberry crumble bars) since I become so obsessed with the "trash". 

Well... there's no secret formula to put things back in perspective. No self-help book, no guru advice needed. All I really need to do is resolutely fix my eyes on Jesus (thereby taking my eyes off the trash), and slowly but surely I get the attitude pick-up that I need. And then the joy in the good things comes back. 

Try taking out the trash with me: turn off the TV, stop complaining or thinking bad thoughts about that family member, put down the extra cookie or beer, bite your tongue before issuing a cutting retort. And instead, we'll spend some time singing a worship song or maybe re-reading a part of the Christmas story in Luke. Combine it with an honest prayer of confession. And in the end, we will find our hearts start to be cleaned from the unrest and all the garbage.

The angel's words "great joy to all people" referred to God's ultimate plan to save the world from sin. But that starts in each of our own lives as we turn to him and ask him for that joy, giving up the dingy and battered hearts which we already own and to which we cling so stubbornly. For us, it might be a constant battle, but deep down, we know that God has already won it for us. Great joy is ours for the taking... we just have to keep reaching to Him for it. 

Advent Day 18 - The Holy Spirit

And the angel answered [Mary], 

"The Holy Spirit will come upon you, 

and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; 

therefore the child to be born will be called holy -- the Son of God." 

Luke 1:30-35

I've always had a hard time with the Holy Spirit. I don't know anyone, actually, who feels like they fully understand Who the Holy Spirit is, or His power and role. I've prayed on my knees that I could be filled with the Holy Spirit and feel closer to Him... of course I've also prayed many times that I could feel closer to God in general.

This week, I came across a reading written by John Piper for an Advent Devotional book. The book is called Come, Thou Long-Expected Jesus and includes thoughts from many noted Christian writers on the coming of Christ. Here's what John Piper has to say about the Holy Spirit:

"[The ministry of the Holy Spirit] is to point away from himself to the wonder of God the Son and God the Father. Being filled with the Spirit means being filled with love for Christ... The Spirit is shy; he is self-effacing. When we look toward him, he steps back and pushes forward Jesus Christ. 

Therefore, in seeking to be filled and empowered by the Spirit we must pursue him indirectly -- we must look to the wonder of Christ. If we look away from Jesus and seek the Spirit and his power directly, we will end up in the mire of our own subjective emotions. The Spirit does not reveal himself. The Spirit reveals Christ. The fullness of the Spirit is the fullness he gives as we gaze on Christ. The power of the Spirit is the power we feel in the presence of Christ. The joy of the Spirit is the joy we feel from the promises of Christ... 

Devote yourself to seeing and feeling the grandeur of the love of God in Jesus Christ and you will be so in harmony with the Holy Spirit that his power will flow mightily in your life. Christian spiritual experience is not a vague religious emotion. It is an emotion with objective content, and the content is Jesus Christ. The shy member of the Trinity does mighty work, but he never puts himself in the limelight. You might say he is the limelight that puts the attributes of God the Father and the person of Christ into sharp relief."

As I read those words, I feel a sense of satisfaction. I have always wondered what it really means to be filled with the Holy Spirit. Zechariah and Elizabeth are said to have been filled with the Holy Spirit. Mary was certainly filled with the Holy Spirit. Many references in the Book of Acts reference people being filled with the Spirit. Could we also be filled with Him?

Here the words of Piper clarify it a bit for me... the goal is not just to be filled with the Holy Spirit, but for my focus to be on Christ, by the enabling of the Spirit. And then the power that flows in my life will be the Spirit's power, and God will be able to use me mightily.

This is my prayer for myself and for my community. Let this be a prayer for all of us!

Advent Day 12 - A Faithful Couple

Back in October, my husband and I took a retreat day to go to Prayer Mountain. There we spent separate time praying and listening to God. Towards the end of the day, I was drawn to read Luke 1 - the story of Zechariah and Elizabeth.

In the time of Herod king of Judea, there was a priest named Zechariah... his wife Elizabeth was also a descendant of Aaron. Both of them were upright in the sight of God, 

observing all the Lord's commandments and regulations blamelessly. 

But they had no children, because Elizabeth was barren; 

and they were both well along in years. 

Luke 1:5-7 NIV

Thus starts what sounds like it will be a very heartrending story. An older couple, who, despite their loyal service to God, have not been blessed by children. If we think that is a big deal in this day and age, remember that at this time period it was ten times greater shame not to have a child. It was a huge social taboo; one did not simply make a choice to not have children. Everyone wanted many children -- for that was seen as a blessing from God, and those without children would not be able to pass on their name or possessions. Their legacy would die with them. Just the Bible's mention of this fact already gives us a glimpse into the state of their family pain.

The story goes on to tell how Zechariah is visited by an angel who promises that his wife Elizabeth will bear a son, and that they should name him John. Zechariah is so astonished that he doubts the angel's word. And as a result, the angel strikes him with muteness until the baby will be born. He stumbles out, making signs that he has seen a vision, and after he finishes his temple service, he goes home to his wife, who, true to prophecy, becomes pregnant.

Let me just say, as a singer with a very sensitive throat, I know how it feels when you can't use your voice for awhile. Many times, I have had to use a pencil and pad to communicate because I had lost my voice or was on "vocal rest" -- not allowed to speak before a concert. (If this surprises you, here's a fun fact: The chanteuse Céline Dion will not speak for an entire day before she has a concert. I don't know how her husband and kids put up with that, since she performs all the time!)

So when I can't speak, I am restricted to writing. It is rather difficult to get into a heated discussion with my husband, because you have to pick your words very wisely when you can only write so fast. As a result, life in our household is pretty calm when I am not able to speak. But I can only imagine going home to a worried spouse, trying to explain why I suddenly can't speak at all -- who knows if it will be permanent -- and on top of that, telling my spouse that she is suddenly pregnant when we have been trying for years to have a baby. What kind of discussion would that be?! (As an aside, it very much surprises me that both Zechariah and his wife could read... or maybe... she couldn't read and he had to rely on sign language.)

In any case, I'm sure 9 months of dumbness will completely change a man, and indeed, an entire relationship.  When the baby was finally born, the relatives asked Elizabeth (of course, because her husband couldn't speak) what the baby should be named. And she said, "He is to be called John." (I wonder whether Zechariah also told her that's what the angel said, or whether an angel appeared to her too?)

And then Zechariah also wrote down that the baby was to be called John. At this sign of his obedience and faith, God removed his muteness, and Zechariah burst out into praise. 

As I read the story of this faithful couple, I am inspired and touched. First, they unswervingly followed and served God, even though their deepest desire remained unfulfilled. Secondly, they supported one another through what must have been a tough period of silence and pregnancy. The Bible doesn't say much about this, but their support of one another shows through their agreement all the way up to the birth of John. Finally, the Luke shows that both of them were filled with the Holy Spirit: In Luke 1:41 Elizabeth prophecies loudly when she greets Mary, pregnant with Jesus. In Luke 1:67, Zechariah also prophesies and praises God. In return for their faithfulness, God not only allows them to be the parents of a very important messenger of the Christ, but he also gives them visions of the glory that is soon to come. 

What area of your life do you need to surrender to God? As I left the retreat-grounds that day, I prayed that my husband and I would be able to become more like this godly couple. I pray that we would be faithful even through great pain and hardship, and that He would allow us to be such an integral part of his plan like John and Elizabeth. 

Advent Day 10 - Jesus' Genealogy

As a child, I loved to visit my grandparents in England. Their house was chock-full of books, and I loved perusing the shelves, looking for a new passion or an old favorite.

The last time I visited, I remember spending some time in the family genealogy book. There were pages and pages of relatives I had only vaguely heard of, but it was very fun and special to look towards the end and find the names that belonged to my brothers and me. Proof that we existed, and that our ancestors too had really lived. But it did really make me wish that I knew more about my ancestors than their names and the dates they lived. What did they think about? What did they feel? Were there any exciting stories from their lives? Did I have any ancestors who were spies? Slaves? Rebels? Kings?

In the first chapter of Matthew, there is a long genealogy of Jesus. It starts with Abraham and goes through Jesus' earthly father, Joseph.

At first glance it seems like a very strange way to start a book. What author, hoping to be widely read, starts his book with a long family tree? Any casual reader who picks up the book (or scroll as it were) would immediate put it down and decide that this was not comfy bedtime reading.

But we are forgetting 1st: the time and world in which Jesus was born, 2nd: the culture and history of the Jewish people, and 3rd: the purpose which Matthew had in writing his account of Jesus' life.

In the first place, when Matthew wrote his gospel, only the very few educated could read and write. The rich (males only) were educated by scribes. Most people heard the Book of the Law only in the synagogues. Additionally, books were very precious. Not only was it hard to find someone who would copy down your book, but pens, ink and papyrus were costly. Circulation of books was limited, and only the very rich would have owned a personal library. Thus, any written document was respected and treasured.

Secondly, the attention of Matthew's audience would immediately have been held by the first few words:

This is the genealogy of Jesus the Messiah 
the son of David, the son of Abraham...

Matthew 1:1 NIV

To the Jewish people, what an important and shocking phrase. In a few short words, Matthew claims, that 1) Jesus is the promised Messiah whom the Jews have been waiting for over hundreds of years, 2) that he is the "son of David" -- meaning that he is of royal blood. David was the Jews' most beloved and powerful king in memory, perhaps a bit like an American claiming to be a direct descendent of George Washington. 3) Finally, he also claims Jesus to be the son of Abraham -- the very father of the Israelite faith. Thus Jesus is claimed as both the heir to the Israelite kingdom and the core of their very spirituality. 

I wouldn't have the time to describe every ancestor on the list, even if I knew about each of them. But I find it ironic that I know more about most of the ancestors of Jesus than I do about my own forefathers. That is because many of them are central figures to the story of the Israelites and the Israelite people's relationship with God. Their stories are written all throughout the Old Testament.

The final reason that Matthew chose to start the story of Jesus with a description of his ancestry is because his Jewish audience would have immediately recognized the stories of their ancestors, the patriarchs and leaders and kings whose stories they had grown up on and whom they had respected all their lives. The mention of so many of their heroes would suddenly bring their history close to them, and help them to realize that Jesus was indeed the promised Messiah, who had been foreshadowed throughout history. They would see all the prophecies about him which had come to pass and realize how amazing God's hand had been to bring about his plan of salvation.

As you look at Jesus' genealogy, whose stories of faith and courage do you remember? What thoughts of encouragement or hope come to your mind? 

Advent Day 9 - The Curse and the Promise

When I was a child, every year part of our pre-Christmas tradition included the reading of Our Christmas Story by Ruth Bell Graham (wife of Billy Graham). Every night in December, we would snuggle up and hear my mom read the next portion of the exciting story. It's been years since I read it now, but  one of the parts that I remember most is the way she relates the Nativity tale everyone knows (Mary, Joseph and Baby Jesus) back to the very beginning of Genesis --  where it all began.

I credit this book with beginning my understanding of how God's plan fits all together all throughout time. And how fitting, to go back to the beginning when celebrating Advent.

The story of Genesis starts out with hope as God creates humans as the pinnacle of his breathtaking creation. It is elysium indeed - environs of such beauty, companionship, meaning and love. And most of all, the personal relationship with God the Father and Creator. But all that is destroyed when humans decided to go their own way. And when God finds out, he pronounces the doom laid on man and woman because of what they have done, and the punishment which will befall their tempter, the serpent. Part of the punishment of the serpent, God's enemy, reads:

¹⁵ 

And I will put enmity
    between you and the woman,
    and between your offspring and hers;
he will crush your head,
    and you will strike his heel.

Genesis 3:15, NIV

The curse came with a redemptive promise. It is foretold that the offspring of woman will crush the head of serpent, that is, Satan.

Note some interesting things:

1) The enmity is between the serpent and the woman and her offspring. This reference says nothing of the offspring of the man. And that came to pass: Christ was indeed born of a virgin woman -- not of the joint union between a man and a woman. 

2) The serpent would bite, or strike the heel of the offspring, but ultimately, would be crushed/trampled upon. Satan worked a deadly blow to Jesus at Calvary, but was defeated when Jesus rose from the dead. Ultimately, he will be crushed entirely and thrown into the fiery lake. 

In the midst of all the pain of the curse, these few words of Genesis 3:15 don't seem like a very great or significant promise, or even very positive. Yet, as the rest of the Bible shows, God doesn't lay all his cards on the table at once. Bit by bit, He reveals himself to humans through the patriarchs and the prophets. He slowly unwinds his master plan, trying to prepare his followers, and even then, it is too advanced for humans to grasp. Even when Christ directly claims his divinity and impending death, he is not believed by those around him. Yet in hindsight, we can see that God had everything under control all along.

The full "head-crushing" of Satan is yet to come, in an epic battle described between Revelation 19:19 and 20:10. Yet it is reassuring that God's plan of salvation started right from the beginning and that He knows what the end will be.

Have a happy cold and wintry evening!

Advent Day 8 - Joy of Every Longing Heart

A friend asked me today, "How was church?" I thought about it a bit and finally answered that the sermon was very good. But even as I was thinking about it, I realized that didn't really sum up my joyous thoughts about church today. In fact, these snippets of thought ran through my mind -- emotions that are hard to sum up in a text message: the glorious feeling when our worship team hit the right chord for the key change, and also when we belted out the final song ("O Come, O Come Emmanuel") at the celebratory tempo of 106bpm... the satisfaction when we finished service 3 minutes early so that we didn't make the next congregation start late... my confession moment during communion admitting my judgmental attitude to God... the enjoyment of our leadership Sunday school and the camaraderie of the youth counselors. All these thoughts and emotions were rolled up together: joy in worship, joy in community, joy in God.

Joy is a funny thing. You know when you have it, but it's definitely not something you can manufacture or fake. It seems to go hand-in-hand with a deep repose of spirit - the times when I know I have joy are when I'm not striving and fighting to get anything, but I just can relax and see where God takes me. It's a gift that goes along with trust. 

Here's a song from our service today which made me grin from ear to ear (Ah, the swell of music and meaning in the line: "Israel's strength and consolation, hope of all the earth Thou art"). As I read the song now, the last line of the first verse reminds us what Joy is really all about -- it is the fulfillment of that deep desire in each one of us, that emptiness inside that we think will be filled by food, sex, money or love. In reality, the fulfillment, the satisfaction, comes only in Jesus. 

Come, thou long-expected Jesus,

Born to set your people free;

From our fears and sins release us,

Let us find our rest in thee.

Israel's strength and consolation,

Hope of all the earth thou art:

Dear desire of every nation, 

Joy of every longing heart.

Born, your people to deliver,

Born a child, and yet, a king.

Born to reign in us forever,

Now your gracious kingdom bring.

By your own eternal spirit

Rule in all our hearts alone;

By your all sufficient merit

Raise us to your glorious throne.

--Charles Wesley 

May you be blessed with Joy today and fulfillment in Christ.

Advent Day 7 - Promised Messiah

The beginning of the gospel about Jesus Christ, the Son of God. 

It is written in Isaiah the prophet:

"I will send my messenger ahead of you,

     who will prepare your way" --

"a voice of one calling in the desert, 

    'Prepare the way for The Lord, 

       make straight paths for him.' "

Mark 1:1-3 (New International Version)

I've been having a gloriously relaxing day. It started with sleeping until noon. After making my way out of bed in a leisurely manner, I sat down to catalogue my favorite recipes in the recipe book my brother gave me a year ago. I had to have something listen to, so I made my way through various youTube videos starting with Handel's Messiah and ending up with Elaine Page.

It then occurred to me that perhaps I should start something for dinner, so I cut open the deliciously knobbled kabocha squashes I bought last week at the Berryessa farmers' market, scooped out the seeds, and put them in the oven to soften up. They will probably end up as some form of soup. Yum.

Getting back to Advent. It all starts hundreds of years before Christ, with the prophets sent by God to bring His people back to Him. The prophet Isaiah spoke the second quote: "a voice of one calling in the desert." He was an influential Jewish prophet who ministered in around the years 740-680 BC. His name means "The LORD saves," which can be seen as a summary theme of his prophecies. (The prophet Malachi spoke the first quote; he also foretold the coming of the Jesus).

Isaiah foretold the judgments of the LORD that would fall on Israel for their faithlessness and rebellion. Yet he also reminded them of God's compassion. Isaiah told the people of Israel that God would send them a Savior, a king descended from their Israel's greatest king, David. This Savior, or Messiah, as he would be called, would unite their kingdom and bring not only an end to their oppression at the hands of foreign nations, but also cause Israel to be a blessing to the whole earth. 

Imagine living in Jesus' time, 700 years later. The words of Isaiah the prophet have come true. After years of war and uncertainty, Israel was exiled in Babylon. Though later returned to their land, they are currently subject to the harsh rule of the Roman Empire. The prophecy of a Savior, though remembered, seems far away and unrelated to their current suffering. Yet there is still a distant hope, that God has not forgotten them and will still send his promised Messiah.

And God did remember. Soon His messenger John would come to prepare people's hearts for Jesus the Messiah.

My kabocha is ready. It's time to go make soup. We'll continue tomorrow... 

Advent Day 4 - Waiting

Okay, so I'm late (as usual) starting my Advent observances. I should have started on time on December 1st. But late is better than never. Advent has come to mean so much to me, in the past few years, that I find it more and more important each year to observe this season.

The word Advent means "the coming" or arrival. And what greater arrival than the Christ-child's appearance on Christmas Day so long ago? But somewhat ironically, the period of Advent comes before the Arrival. It is in fact, not about the actual arrival but about the stretch of time spent waiting for Him.

Waiting in our time and culture is not glorified. I watched a recent Colbert Report (Monday, Dec. 2) where he mocked the Amazon Overnight Delivery service. "It takes FOREVER. If I have to wait until tomorrow for my items to arrive, there goes tonight's plans..." he mock-complained. He then went on to describe Amazon's plans to potentially adopt delivery service by drones - that would cut down the delivery time to half an hour. Yes, he was only complaining in jest, but I find I have the same problem - I have no patience with anything that makes me wait. For example...

Mail: Just this Sunday, I was griping because the Advent candles that I ordered 11 days prior (with free shipping of course) had not arrived by Dec. 1 in time to use them for our first Advent service of the year.
Traffic: I hate being stuck behind a slow car and make frequent lane changes.
Family: I get annoyed when I am dressed to go out, and my husband isn't ready yet.
Lines: I pick late nights to go shopping because I know there won't be any queues.

But God, in His infinite wisdom, created the world and then proceeded to endure thousands of years of man's forgetfulness, betrayal and folly, before sending a Savior. He waited patiently for us to remember, for us to turn back to Him. And He is waiting still. Sometimes I wonder why He waited so long when the world was in darkness. Even so, the Christ-child was born at exactly the right time ("But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son" - Galatians 4:4)

Is there something you are waiting for in your life? Do you know why God is keeping you waiting? What does He want you to do with your time while you wait?

Hostess: The first face we see

As part of my job, I design the flow of our worship service, including scheduling everyone involved. One of the very important jobs is person who introduces the service, or in non-church terms, the MC. At Southbay, we call them Hostesses - we've chosen to have mainly women fill this role, since we mostly have men preaching and it's nice to see a variety of faces up there.

Recently, one of our hostesses brought up some good questions which really made me think through the "whys" and "hows" behind hosting. Here are some of my answers to those questions... feel free to add your thoughts.


1. What's the real purpose of hosting for Sunday Worship?

The purpose is to create a clear "flow" so that the congregation and newcomers will understand what is happening next. Also, as a hostess, you are the "face" of the church. Most people feel they cannot relate to a pastor, but they see an ordinary person up there being warm, friendly and welcoming them and they get a feel for how our church is.


2. Are there any techniques you recommend to begin the worship? 

To begin the worship, the purpose of the host should be to gather people's attention and focus it on God (aka "call to worship")

I have seen some different techniques from hosts that I think are helpful in different ways. For example, reading a very short Scriptural "call to worship" (For example, Psalm (95:1, 95:2 or 95:6, Psalm 66:1, etc.)
OR
Relating to some current event (say we are in mourning for something or happy about something)
OR
Relating to today's theme. For example, our current sermon series is on Hope. You could say something like, "Good morning everyone. In this month's sermon series, we have been hearing about the Hope that Jesus gives us. Let's stand and worship Him, and remind our hearts to be hopeful." Something like that.

Just from a Google search, I found an eHowarticle with some helpful tips at the end (from an unnamed eHow contributor):

Greet the congregation with a smile and a confident movement toward worship rather than a bland 'Good morning.' The first words should be more than casual greetings...this is a worship service.

Project your voice with breath support from the diaphragm and speak with a smile.

Raise the arms and turn up the palms in a welcoming gesture during your last sentence of invitation to worship.

Calls to worship are not long affairs. Avoid the long winded introduction.

If you are reading a call to worship avoid the reading voice with its downturned towns and predictable rhythms. Practice reading the call to worship well enough that it lives and breathes.

Don't think you can avoid the call to worship. Whatever is spoken first (outside of song) in a service is the call to worship. So craft it well.

Read more: http://www.ehow.com/how_5359076_perform-call-worship.html#ixzz2lhv6ybbB


3. What are some ways to welcome newcomers without asking them to stand up to make them feel uncomfortable?

As a background, we don't have newcomers stand up in our congregation. Too often, that makes people feel like there's a lot of unwanted attention. But we do have a greeting time part-way through the service and many hostesses encourage people to talk with those they don't know. 

Also as a host, you can invite newcomers to our post-service snack/mingle time, saying something like, "If you are new this Sunday, we would love to get to know you, and the best time for that is to join us upstairs for food and conversation right after service."

Please feel free to add your own ideas.

Have a great Thanksgiving week!

God on our side

The Psalms are full of quotes about having The Lord on our side. Now, I'm sure that imagery means a lot to those who are actually fighting a war...  but what about those of us who are civilians and whose Great Challenges consist of fighting a stubborn zit, or trying to hold our tongues when someone says something that makes us bristle?

A few weeks ago, I was lying in bed, trying to shake a bout of sickness. It was in this state of forced reflection and stillness that I have been reminded of the Enemy we all face - and the great Grace of God who is on our side.

That day, I had planned two appointments to meet with youth. Then I got sick. Not the type of sick where you sniffle a bit, but don't notice most of the time. It was the full-out lying-on-your-back-in-bed-because-else-you'll-have-a-splitting-headache type. Instead of calling up the kids to cancel like I should have done, I instead planned to suffer through it, martyr-like. It's my own twisted sense of reasoning: I hate it when people cancel on me, so I never want to be the one who cancels on someone else.

Well, that's when God stepped in. I checked my Facebook to confirm plans to meet up with the first one - and found she had cancelled due to other school plans. Normally this would have made me frustrated, but I gratefully accepted it this time.

Then, around 12pm, I received a phone call from the other one, calling on his lunch break: Hello. Do you still want to meet up today or do it another day?

For a split second, I thought about keeping stubbornly to our previous plans, like a soldier who has been dismissed but doggedly stays at his post. Then, common sense won out.

Me: Um, actually, I'm really sick right now. Can we meet up next week?

He readily agreed, and God's Grace won out over my stubborn pride.

See, the Enemy doesn't always show up in obviously evil ways such as child prostitution or bullying. Most often, we encounter sin's temptation in the self-sufficient attitude or the snarky remarks we make to loved ones. These are the battles we all face everyday. And The Lord is on our side. He is there whispering a gentle reminder to hold our tongues, or giving us a way to remain patient under criticism, or, in my case, providing a way that I didn't have to let anyone down by cancelling appointments, but still enabling me to get the rest I needed. Small things that could be coincidences... but then again... maybe they aren't.

Let's all look for ways that He is on our side today.

I'm Sorry

Have you ever noticed how much easier it is to graciously forgive someone when they have already said those magic words: "I'm sorry"?

Recently, I had a humbling interaction with a client. She let me know late that her daughter would not be attending an event which we had be preparing for over the past six weeks. I sent back a rather severe email letting her know that she should have informed me earlier.

After sending the email, I had a fit of conscience. That is, God tapped me on the shoulder and reminded me that I should have been nicer. I regretted using such a strong reprimand, but since the email had already been sent I couldn't do much about it.

Later that day, I received a reply. The woman began her email, "I'm really sorry about the poor communication on my side." She went on to say that her mother had been sick all year and that she had not been able to commit to anything else since she was spending all her time taking care of her mom.

Imagine what a jerk I felt when I read that. She not only took responsibility, but she had a very good excuse for her actions which entreated my compassion. I sent her back a very gracious reply, letting her know that it was okay, that I understood, that I should have confirmed with her earlier, and I wound up saying that I would pray for her and her mother.

But as I stepped away from the computer, I was very disturbed to examine my heart. Yes, I had quickly forgiven this woman after she had admitted her fault and offered to make amends. But it was her apology which had made me feel like I could be magnanimous. I felt like the Royal Ruler who had been Justly Offended, and she was the Poor Serf kneeling before me in abject humiliation - it was easy to forgive her, with a wave of my lordly hand!

But what if she had been defensive, blaming me instead for the poor communication? Would I then have pushed away the guilt I felt for treating her somewhat harshly? Would I have been able to admit my own poor communication? I'm not sure, and I'm glad I didn't have to find out. But it wasn't a pretty sight to look deep into my own motives and realize that they're not always as pure as I would like to believe.

Romans 5:8 says, "God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." 

I just finished watching The Bible series on the History channel. Great series. It summarizes the stories of the whole Bible into a few hours. But what I appreciated most was seeing the story of Jesus come to life. Finally I had a picture of what Isaiah meant when he said about Jesus: "He was despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief..." (Isaiah 53:3). In the last moments of His life, Jesus asked His Father to forgive those who had mocked him, spit on him, crucified him. Even though they had never admitted their guilt or shown any remorse.

I find it really hard to wrap my mind that kind of love. A totally selfless love which does not receive and yet keeps on giving itself totally. And yet it seems to me that if I could let go of needing to hear others' contrition, I might be able to feel a little more remorse myself. Then I would truly understand what my salvation cost my Lord.

Oh Lord. Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us. Even when they don't say, "I'm sorry."

How teens show love

I got my first job as Youth Director in 2010. Before that, I was a youth counselor, youth intern, whatever you want to call it. No one really cared what my title was; all it meant was that I hadn't graduated seminary yet. When I became a Youth Director, suddenly, it felt like a big deal.

The most noticeably cushy part of the job, admittedly, was the big shiny gold nameplate by my office door:

My Name

Youth Director

For the first few weeks, it felt good to walk past my door and glance at it. Surely, such an imposing nameplate meant that I was a Very Important Person, a person of whom to Take Note, a person whom all the youth would assuredly Respect and Love. 

Until one day. 

It was late on a Sunday afternoon. I had been doing some work at my desk after church, and the youth had been playing around outside the office door. I knew they were probably up to something, but I've learned sometimes it's better to pretend to be deaf if you don't want to be disturbed. I finally wrapped up and went outside. The kids had long finished and gone downstairs, and as I turned to shut and lock my door, I glanced as a matter of habit, at my precious nameplate. 

Only now, it didn't read "Youth Director." It read:

Youth Dictator

All my carefully-built illusions of being a Very Important Person came crashing down in an instant. I wasn't a hero, a beloved leader to my subjects... I didn't inspire Respect and Love. I didn't have their undivided admiration. In that moment, I saw myself how they saw me: a dictator. Sigh. 

*   *   *

Well, the dictator thing went dormant for awhile. But dormant doesn't mean dead. The following year, on Counselor Appreciation Day, they made me a big red flag with a yellow Communist symbol on it. They hung it up on the youth room (I must remember to take that down before newcomers doubt the affiliation of our church).

This past summer, we went on a week-long mission trip to Idaho. During the first day on the road, we stopped to relax at a river, and most of the kids went wading and swimming. I remember asking one of my co-leaders, "Am I being too strict?" (This was after forbidding them to cliff-dive and, incidentally, right before one of them sliced her foot open in the river). "Nooo..." he replied hesitantly, "You're just... protective..." 

Well, I tried to lighten up a bit after that, but it was no use. Shortly afterward on the trip, I somehow acquired the nickname: Mama Stalin. And groan as I might, it stuck.

*   *   *

Fast-forward to a few weeks ago. My commissioning ceremony as a youth minister, a very big and exciting deal in my professional life. My parents were there, my in-laws were there, and several of my good friends came to cheer and support me. It was a very special ceremony and I felt loved and cared for. After the service, we were getting ready to be seated at the luncheon, when my beloved kids come up and present me with this:

[picture of the whole board]

[zoom in on tasks for the day]

Ah well. Nothing like kids for taking you down a peg or two. And looking at that noticeboard, I finally shrugged and gave up. I was fighting the nickname because I didn't want to be seen as ridiculous. But I finally realized... the very fact that I'd been given the nickname meant they loved me. I just needed to learn to recognize it as love. 

*   *   *

I was reminded once more this past week. Wanting to show my student leaders how much I care about them, I mailed them some encouragement notes. On Friday, at youth group, one of them approached me. 

Student: Hey Joni, guess what?

Me: What?

Student: Today, my mom told me to go outside and get the mail. Then, just as I did, I saw a big guy open our mailbox and grab it all! I thought about chasing him, but I saw how big he was and decided against it. 

Me: Hm, sorry, that sucks. 

Student: Well, Joni. I did see there was this blue envelope sticking out of the pile... too bad that guy stole all our mail. I hope it wasn't anything IMPORTANT.

Me: (finally catching on) Ohh... yeah, no... probably not. :)

You learn not to fight back. Just smile and say, "You're welcome." 

Because, in their language, that's their way of saying thanks. 

The Christ of Calvary

"He who knows not the Christ of Calvary knows not God, and he who does not thus know, knows not anything that is worth knowing." --R.E. March

It's Ash Wednesday today; the first day of Lent. (If you don't really understand what Lent is, you can read some background here.) Every year during Lent, I try to spend time reflecting on the suffering of Jesus. One book I have found particularly helpful is Contemplating the Cross by Tricia McCary Rhodes. For 40 days of readings, you walk with Jesus through his journey to the cross and think about his experience. More than anything else, this book has helped me understand and draw nearer to the one who was both God and man.

Today I'm thinking about the quote from Day 1 of the readings, which I have written above. What really struck me this time is the first part: "He who knows not the Christ of Calvary knows not God".

Who is the Christ of Calvary? In the last days before Jesus' death, we see glimpses of him that we have never seen before...weeping, afraid, lonely... but buoyed up by some inner strength through which he remains silent when mocked and tortured... and finally, asks God to forgive his murderers right before he dies. To be honest, these are not scenes I like to play in my head. It makes me nervous, uneasy, to think of Jesus crying and afraid. I'm scared to look into the depths of the evil he had to face or feel the strength of the taunts which he bore humbly. And most of all, I dare not face my own vile sin which lurks there, mixed in the cup of bitterness which he had to drink.

But in facing these images, in replaying them in my head, and in worshiping the One who was greater than the evil he faced, I find that I begin to understand who God really is. God is not an impersonal Judge taking down notes of my every action, or even a Amazon shipping agent, fulfilling my orders as I send them in. He's not even just a sweet old Father who is always ready to give me a hug and kiss my bruised knee. God experienced pain, loneliness and fear, just as we do. Instead of remaining aloof from our sin and darkness, Jesus took it and wrapped it round himself like a cloak. Man of sorrows and despised by many... yet taking the sin of the world upon his shoulders. This is the real God... and I long to know him.

The Tenants

There's an interesting thing about God's Word. It was written to tell God's story, but though many of the events have already happened, God still uses it to speak to us today.

I recently re-read The Parable of the Tenants from Matthew 21:33-46. It's an engaging story which tells of the man who rented out his vineyard to some tenants. When it came time to harvest the grapes, he sent messengers to ask the tenants for his share of the crop. But they refused to give him the fruit and beat and killed all his messengers. The owner only had one way to gain control of his vineyard. He sent his own son, since who could disrespect the man's son himself? But the tenants said to one another, "Come, let's kill him and take his inheritance." So they killed even the owner's son. Enraged, the owner came and avenged his son and rented his vineyard to other tenants who would give him his rightful share at harvest time.

The context and meaning of the story is pretty clear. Jesus is indicting the religious people of the time who failed to produce spiritual fruit -- they failed to worship God and offer up their lives to him, instead planning to kill God's own son. Jesus was saying that God would cut off all the religious people who thought they were his children and instead welcome newcomers into his family.

But how about this passage's application to us today?

I grew up in church, going to Sunday School every week. I knew all the books of the Bible in order, and if you asked me about any character in the Bible, I could tell you his or her story. I knew who Jesus was and why he came to earth and died. But in a sense, I was just like these tenants of the vineyard. I was lazy. I wanted the inheritance of "getting into heaven" but I didn't want to do the hard work of producing fruit in my life. Though I claimed to worship God's Son Jesus, did I recognize him when he came into my life and wanted to change me? Though I claimed to be a Jesus-follower, I was probably more like the religious people whom he condemned.

Jesus says that "the kingdom of God will be taken away from you and given to a people who will produce its fruit."

Do we Christians think enough about the opportunity that we already have to be God's children? Or do we take it for granted? Are we excited about talking to Jesus, learning from him, growing to be more like him? Or do we just go through the motions that we have come to know and be comfortable with: going to church, saying the right words, pretending that we read the Bible and pray...?

I have teens in my youth group who look just like I did as a teenager: going through the motions, so sure of heaven that they don't think about how they will serve God on earth. But I also have teens who realize what an amazing opportunity God has given them; they are excited, they are searching for God, they are grabbing for any opportunity possible to know more about him, and it is these students who will really experience God working in them in a personal way.

And you...? Which one are you? Are you the old tenant who gets thrown out of the vineyard or will you be the one who will produce fruit?

I love my job

I'm fortunate enough to love my job. Both my jobs. Most people can't say that.

As a youth minister, I love watching teenagers fall more in love with Jesus and find their own faith and desire to serve him. I am always delighted at that moment when they do or say something which makes me know that Jesus is becoming real for them and they're excited about him.

Also, as a singer and teacher of singing, I get the joy of watching students develop their voices and grow more confident about themselves in the process.

Mondays are my day off, a little time to rest and unwind before the week starts afresh. Here are some of the thoughts that go through my head on Mondays and all the week after that...