The Pilgrimage

 

Retreating with God

I think it was in seminary that I first developed a love for praying outdoors. During an assignment for one of my seminary classes with my favorite professor, Dr. Steve Korch, I had to scout locations for a prayer retreat. It was a new thing for me to set aside a place that was "ordinary" and yet sacred in some way, to remove myself from distractions, walk slowly and listen for God's voice.

One of the first locations where I started to walk and pray was the beautiful chapel and grounds at Santa Clara University, a Jesuit school. I remember traversing the covered pathways under the creeping vines, thinking about God talking to the saints whose images were all around me, and who had taken walks just like me, asking for God's presence and words of truth. 

The most memorable prayer retreat came some years later. I had just quit my job at the church where I was the worship director and though I knew I was supposed to move on, I didn't have a clue what was next for me, or even what direction I was supposed to go. I had applied to a few other churches, but wasn't getting very far in the interview process. I felt very lost, and sorely in need of direction. 

And that’s when I took a one-day pilgrimage by myself to a little remote retreat site in the Santa Cruz mountains, dedicated to those seeking God in prayer. It is such a simple place and yet, every time I go there, God condescends to meet with me.

An Unexpected Answer

That day, I heard from God. I had spent the day following little paths, sitting still, studying the Bible, and gazing all around me at trees, birds and flowers. I had repeatedly asked God what was next for me, where I should I work, what I should do? Big church, small church, Chinese church, American church, Hispanic church? Which denomination? And which role? If only He would give me a lead, I had told him, I would gladly follow it. 

I remember watching a small sparrow hopping on the ground, picking up bits and pieces, here and there. I had just been reading and studying Matthew 6, where Jesus tells the people listening on the hillside not to worry about what they will eat or drink, because the Lord God Himself would provide for them. As I watched that tiny sparrow, I heard from Him. "You are like this sparrow," He said. "You will not have a job for some time. But I will provide for you. I will give you things that you are supposed to do. Just rely on me" That was hard to hear. But I never doubted that it was the word from God, because I had asked Him for His direction, and I hadn’t been expecting to hear that reply. It wasn’t anything that I could have made up in my head. It was directly from Him. 

At the end of the day, I went back to my life, literally going "down the mountain." In His Word, God often uses mountain-tops as places where someone can be "closer" to God. Moses went up a mountain to talk with God. Elijah met God on a mountain. Jesus climbed a mountain... and was revealed in splendor to his companions.

When I went back down the mountain, I treasured this word from God, and I looked carefully to see whether God would do what he had said. God was true to his word. He did provide things for me to do during the next six months: even without a paid job, I was led to specific people he wanted to me to mentor and spend time with, and though I didn't get called back by the churches I applied to, I was filled with peace and contentment. I knew that God was providing, in his own way and time. Every time I was tempted to doubt whether it had been the right thing to quit my job, or to wonder when I would ever make money again, He reminded me that this was his leading and he would provide for me, just like that sparrow. 

Since that time, not only has God always provided, but he also has reminded me of a need to quietly retreat away from my regular surroundings, away from the distractions and a normal every day way of reasoning that I have. 

The Pilgrimage Material

In a new environment, we can often be more open to God and hear from him more clearly. That’s why I created this devotional material, called The Pilgrimage. 

I invite you, too, to get away from your normal surroundings, to  I pray that as you focus on hearing from God, His Holy Spirit will let you know what purpose God has for your life.

What: Material for one day's quiet retreat. It can also be spread out over two days. 

Who: This is a solo retreat, designed to be done by one person alone.

When: The recommended timing is during the Lent season, before Good Friday. 

Where: Away from normal surroundings; find a place outside in nature that is secluded, beautiful, and free from distraction. If you are unable to go to a public space, you can also use it in your backyard or just find a quiet, comfortable chair.

How: Research a location or locations, including planning what to eat for a meal. Print and bind the devotional material into a booklet. Take a pencil and a mobile device to scan the QR code. 

Download The Pilgrimage here:   

• English
• 中文繁體
• 中文简体

More Details: The material is divided into three stations, following Jesus through three separate locations. When following the material, you will pick three different locations to spend with God. After finishing each location's material, you will either drive or walk to another location. 

• The first location is called The Hill. The reading and reflection questions remind us of God's provision in all things. 
• The second station is called The Garden. The setting is that long Thursday night before Jesus was crucified; that night he was spending time with his disciples in the garden, giving them poignant last words that he wants them to remember. 
• The third station is called The Cross. It was originally written to be done at a church location beside a big cross and a fire pit. If your location doesn't have a big cross, it could be done sitting or kneeling in any quiet place, preferably at night.

Usage Rights: 

Feel free to modify the details of The Pilgrimage to suit your audience, but you do not have permission to change the reflection questions or redistribute or sell this material as your own creation. I pray that this free resource is helpful for your faith community and also for your own relationship with God. 

If you appreciated this resource, please comment below and let us know how you used it!

Free Worship Resources

It's been a long time since I posted anything. In the last four years, I have had a second child, taken on the title of Worship Minister, and, just like you, lived through a global pandemic. 😒

But recently, God brought this blog to mind again and given me a new vision for it. "Mondays Off" has always been a window into my heart as a minister; since I work on Sundays, I get Mondays off work. But now I would like it to have another purpose too. 

If you're like me, a few months (or even days!) before special occasions like Lent and Advent, you start looking online for resources. Surely, you think, someone out there must have made something beautiful and creative that can be used for FREE by a small church (with a few basic modifications). But it's not always easy to find these kind of resources, and often they are created more for fun or tradition, than actually helpful in leading a congregation to worship.

So, from here, I expect to share what resources I have found and created, for the help of worship ministers  everywhere. (And also for parents, as you look for creative ways to celebrate Jesus and the church year along with your kids.)

The Land of the Rising Sun

Some memories from 14 days spent by myself in the Land of the Rising Sun:

Japan is a beautiful land, full of lovely, heartfelt people. I stayed in an AirBnb in Tama-shi, West Tokyo, about 45-60 minutes from the busy Shinjuku station. It was part of my sabbatical (2 months graciously given me by Southbay as a time for rest and spiritual recharging). I had a few plans made ahead of time, but mostly I just wanted to be open to learning and where God would lead me. I was hoping to that God would be teaching me about Himself and what He is doing in Japan.

Spring in Japan is all about Sakura (cherry blossom) season. These beautiful blossoms represent not only a season but also the heart of the people. During the short sakura season, you find it everywhere. Everyone is talking about them and what stage they are at, every store is selling something made with sakura, and they decorate every train station or main attraction. And they truly are “sugoi” (incredible) when they are in full-bloom. I got to experience Hanami (picnicking under the sakura) and an afternoon walking tour around the neighborhood and down by the river with my AirBnb hosts under the shade of these ethereal blossoms.

Later, we spent some time in a park (famous location from Whisper of the Heart, screenplay by Hayao Miyazaki) with the wind blowing the blossoms all around us.

Famous location of the library from Whisper of the Heart

Hanami with Satoshi-san and Hitomi-san

Besides that, here are some other memories that I will cherish:

• Sitting at my low table listening to the 5:00pm "Go home, children" music that they play everyday, while studying Japanese and playing ukulele 
• Eating lunch with a graduate who found God in college, and hearing her speak of the beautiful story He has woven in her life 
• Foot-bathing (ashiyu) at Kosatsu Hot Springs (a famous onsen supposed to cure every sickness but love sickness!) 

Famous Kosatsu Onsen

• Eating home-cooked kakina (“the taste of spring”) with Moeka and smelling the sunny spring air through the open door at her family’s office 
• Stopping under the glorious sakura garden in the mountains next to a train embankment over a rushing stream 

With Moeka and her mother in the sakura park

• The sakura “snowing” (hanafubuki) all around me after church on Easter Sunday 

A rare whole blossom fallen amid the "snow" 

• Long rambles and chasing the sunset in Tama-shi (I never got a full view of it) 

The Parthenon in Tama Center

• Buying my first ice cream and communicating in half-Japanese, half-English with the convenience store cashier

And here are a few more pictures:

Dinner at an old-style soba restaurant

My first taste of oden

Stirring the waters (Yumomi) at Kosatsu

Jamming to "Country Roads" at the home of Satoshi-san and Hitomi-san

Night-time sakura (yozakura) down by Keiō Tama-Center station 

Speaking Japanese:
I studied Japanese before I left, and everyday during those two weeks, but found it really hard to actually use what I’d learned beyond a super basic level. Here are the words I actually used daily:

• Excuse me 
• Thank you 
• Do you speak English? 
• Can I use a credit card? 
• Do you have __________? 
• Where is _________?

The hardest things were:

• Being lonely for my family and remembering that God is caring for them so I don't need to worry 
• Understanding supermarkets 
• Being scared of running out of battery (phone or wifi) when far from my apartment 
• Finding an unobstructed view of the sunset 
• Not being able to eat anywhere I want when I’m starving (Japanese people sit down to eat, and don't eat on public transportation. Sometimes finding a bench is harder than you would think!)

Along with those, here are some other things I learned about:

• Caffeine free (カフェインゼロ) tea 
• Hamburg 
• How to use sumimasen (すみません) for everything (excuse me, sorry, thank you, I’m ready to order) 
• Proper train etiquette (This is totally a thing; they even have pamphlets in the airport express explaining this) 
• That lots of people don’t speak English at all (esp out of central Tokyo) so I had to be really brave and make a fool of myself lots of times 
• What cashiers are saying to when you try to pay? (Do you have a point card? Do you want a bag? One payment or two? Do you need chopsticks?) 
• I can get tired of convenience store onigiri! (I actually craved Chinese food) 
• How happy I can be to see a Seven Eleven

Overall, it was really a journey of self-discovery as much as God-discovery. I was reminded who I am and what I love doing, as opposed to what I mostly do for others. 2 weeks of not forcing myself to get up for others and cook, clean or run errands for others, and mostly feeling the permission to do things on my own schedule were wonderful. But I also was reminded of the gift of my family that God has given me, and the stage of life that I’m in now. Thank God for his gift, and for showing me how and where He is working in Japan.

Rats in the Cellar

Awhile ago, I subscribed to get a daily devotional email from Bible Gateway. I'm not very good with reading daily emails (although I get far too many "dailies" in my junk email inbox from Cost Plus, Max Studio, and Joanne's Fabrics, just to name a few).

But the C.S. Lewis one is different. Almost every day, I feel a sense of excitement and anticipation when I open this email. His words, whether quotes from the beloved Narnia series, words of wisdom from Mere Christianity, or his heartfelt musings on pain after the death of his wife, all challenge and renew my faith.

Here's my email from a few days ago:

"We begin to notice, besides our particular sinful acts, our sinfulness; begin to be alarmed not only about what we do, but about what we are. This may sound rather difficult, so I will try to make it clear from my own case. When I come to my evening prayers and try to reckon up the sins of the day, nine times out of ten the most obvious one is some sin against charity; I have sulked or snapped or sneered or snubbed or stormed. And the excuse that immediately springs to my mind is that the provocation was so sudden and unexpected; I was caught off my guard, I had not time to collect myself. Now that may be an extenuating circumstance as regards those particular acts: they would obviously be worse if they had been deliberate and premeditated. On the other hand, surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of a man he is? Surely what pops out before the man has time to put on a disguise is the truth? If there are rats in a cellar you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly. But the suddenness does not create the rats: it only prevents them from hiding. In the same way the suddenness of the provocation does not make me an ill-tempered man; it only shows me what an ill-tempered man I am. The rats are always there in the cellar, but if you go in shouting and noisily they will have taken cover before you switch on the light." ~ C.S. Lewis (from Mere Christianity)

Growing up, I had a fairly high opinion of myself. I knew I was a Christian, and I also knew that I was free of some of the more obviously egregious (to teenagers) sins such as murder, pre-marital sex and drug use. In my eyes, this made me pretty good with God. Sure, when friends asked, "You're so good, you don't have any sins," I would modestly explain that I still struggled with pride, gossip or fights with my parents, but even I didn't really believe those sins were that bad. (Nor was I struggling that hard.) In fact, in high school, I adopted the nickname "Angelchild" that one of my friends had given me, and continued to take pride in how pure and like and angel I was.

It's funny growing up in the church. I think that many who come to know Christ later in life have a more realistic view of just how terribly depraved we all really are without Jesus. But for those of us who grew up basically following the rules, we may not get a true picture of the blackness of sin until we grow older - and then only if we are truly honest and allow God to reveal it to us. As the years have passed, I have seen myself more and more 'in the light' - I've realized how often I have "sulked or snapped or sneered or snubbed or stormed." And, while it might be more comforting to believe that I am safe from the truly terrible sins others struggle with, that in itself is a lie from the enemy, trying to deceive me that I am alright, that I don't really need a Savior.

But those rats keep on hiding in the cellars of our souls. And it is these rats in the cellar (or if you want to be more practical, cockroaches in our church storage room), that really keep me from holiness - not the obvious sins which everyone else would judge me for. The only way to catch and kill the vermin is to continually come to Jesus in honesty and humility and confess my sin. And He will continue the purification process in me which started at my conversion.

No, I'm not an Angelchild. But I am a child of God, and hopefully one day I will look like Him.

How was your day?

How was your day?

Some years ago, I learned the power of these simple words... from one of my youth. I would meet her after school and we'd chat about everything from boys to God. Unlike many of the teens I encounter, she wouldn't just talk about herself, she wanted to know what was going on with me. 

"So, how was your day?" she'd ask conversationally, her arms full of school projects. "By the way, thanks for picking me up."

It was refreshing. A sudden open invitation to say whatever I wanted to about my day and know that someone was listening and interested. And since knowing her, I have used those words many times -- in my marriage, with my youth kids (you usually have to be more specific with them else they will just say "fine") and with friends. I find them amazingly disarming. They imply a level of care that most people are not used to hearing in their busy lives. People are even more willing to open up and share when you follow them up their response with, "Oh yeah, how do you feel about that?"

Try them sometime. You might be surprised how the simple words open up a pathway for friendship and conversation. 

Reflections for the New Year

It's always the same - the year draws to a close, and suddenly, you are conscious of how little you've achieved this year, or how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. For some, there may be a sense of optimism that the new year will turn out differently, but deep down, you wonder if anything will really change. Am I even capable of change? I ask myself frequently, the older I get. 

Actually, I gave up making New Year's Resolutions a long time ago. The last one I can remember was to learn to play gospel keyboard. That must have been nearly 10 years ago, and I know I'm no closer than before. But each year, there are the faint hopes that I will actually use my gym membership, clean out my filing cabinet, take care of those pesky financial decisions I've been putting off... and change my maiden name.

Well, I may have given up on Resolutions, but something I value more and more is the chance to pray and reflect over the past year. I always discover something about myself and God's work in my life. One year, I kept my reflection sheet in my wallet all year, and it helped me stick to the desires I had to improve my relationships whom I had listed.

A few weeks ago, I had the chance to lead our student leadership team in a similar reflection time. It was following the end of a hard school semester and emotions ran high. But having the chance to share hopes and disappointments is a special part of Christian community and the discussion brought us closer.

I'd like to share the reflection questions, in hopes that you too can allow God to speak to you about your past year.

1. Take your time listing out every major memory/experience you had in 2013. (I used my Google planner/Facebook to help me with these)

2. a) What were some themes from your year? Or another way to put it: What did you spend a lot of time thinking about?
b) What actions did you take as a result of these thoughts?

3. a) What is something good you did this year?
b) What is something bad you did this year? ("good" and "bad" are subjective, not moral or legal terms)

4. What relationship in your life would you like to change? What would you like it to look like? What steps do you need to take to help it get there? 

5. a) How have your parents disappointed you? (you could use other family members/spouse instead)
b) How have you disappointed your parents?

6. a) How has God disappointed you?
b) How have you disappointed God?

7. Spend some time to share some of your thoughts with your community and pray for one another. 

Merry Christmas! - Great Joy to All People

Merry Christmas!

It's been good to have a few days off this week. Our music studio is closed on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and I took some extra days off at church, so I haven't been spending much time with anyone except family.

In fact, I think the only non-family interactions I had with in the last 2 days were service-people from the various stores I visited to shop for last-minute gifts. I always have to think at the end, whether I should say, "Have a good day!" or "Merry Christmas!" I mean, so many people are afraid of not being politically correct (myself included, unfortunately) that I always assume that others will avoid the "C"- word.

Actually, this year, I was pleasantly surprised. Seems like every cashier or worker wished me a Merry Christmas before I even said anything. It heartened me to continue on wishing people Merry Christmas whether they celebrate it or not, because, Christmas IS a big deal, to all, whether they believe that or not.

The angel of the Lord told the shepherds,

"I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. The Savior—yes, the Messiah, 

the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David!"

Luke 2:10-11

Great joy to all people is hard to believe because there are so many people who don't find joy in even the concept of a Christmas which centers on Santa Claus and gift-giving, let alone a Christmas whose real meaning is God coming to earth to save mankind. It's hard to believe even for Christians... our hearts are so jaded and filled with trash during this season: greed for more stuff, materialism, addictions or over-indulgences, frustrations in our family relationships, self-loathing or desire to impress others... 

I've been forgetting to keep Jesus the Savior as my central focus and thus struggling with some of these this week. When that happens, I even lose enjoyment in the good things (like time spent with loved ones, beautiful lights on my tree, and homemade raspberry crumble bars) since I become so obsessed with the "trash". 

Well... there's no secret formula to put things back in perspective. No self-help book, no guru advice needed. All I really need to do is resolutely fix my eyes on Jesus (thereby taking my eyes off the trash), and slowly but surely I get the attitude pick-up that I need. And then the joy in the good things comes back. 

Try taking out the trash with me: turn off the TV, stop complaining or thinking bad thoughts about that family member, put down the extra cookie or beer, bite your tongue before issuing a cutting retort. And instead, we'll spend some time singing a worship song or maybe re-reading a part of the Christmas story in Luke. Combine it with an honest prayer of confession. And in the end, we will find our hearts start to be cleaned from the unrest and all the garbage.

The angel's words "great joy to all people" referred to God's ultimate plan to save the world from sin. But that starts in each of our own lives as we turn to him and ask him for that joy, giving up the dingy and battered hearts which we already own and to which we cling so stubbornly. For us, it might be a constant battle, but deep down, we know that God has already won it for us. Great joy is ours for the taking... we just have to keep reaching to Him for it.